Sign up for my mailing list

RSS Lynne Silver

  • Washington Loves Readers Luncheon October 25, 2014
    As you know (or not), I chaired the first ever Washington Loves Reader’s luncheon on October 11, 2014 along with author, Kimberly Kincaid. It basically meant I got to pick the lunch menu and assign seats. {Rubs hands mad with power} 40 authors showed up to wine and dine the readers, and well, when you getRead more...
  • Ladies of the 80s September 20, 2014
    The book takes place in 1980. I’m a total 80′s child, but I was young in the 80′s and only vaguely remember Reagan’s election. John Lennon’s shooting, I remember not at all. It was really fun doing the research for this book, because there were certain mindsets and mores I had to stick to. ForRead more...
  • Guest- Tina Donahue August 22, 2014
    I’m so thrilled to have one of my co-authors of the Brought to His Knees anthology here today. Tina Donahue has another release called Carnal Takeover! (Love the title) During the day, she’s in charge—at night, he’ll take command of her body, their desires…   Dominance and discipline. Alexandra hungers for both from Daniel, theRead more...

Posts for:  June 2012

A Jewish Wedding p 3

The bride and groom are now officially married! Mazel Tov! Time to boogie. Wait, hang on… The bride and groom, according to tradition, have fasted the entire day.  They’re starving. Immediately following the ceremony, the two will ensconce themselves in a private room and break their fast. The groom will feed the bride. Two Shomer (guards) will stand outside the door to ensure the privacy of the new wedded couple.

There’s also rumor that the groom deflowers the bride during this time, but I don’t know of anyone who actually did this. After the private time is over, the bride and groom will rejoin the large party, where they are likened to a king and queen. Party guests will endeavor to entertain them with dances, juggling and more.

My husband and I practiced our juggling passes for weeks so we could get up and juggle for our guests. We still sucked, but the photos came out great! The traditional Hora will be danced and the bride and groom lifted on chairs and danced around. A Jewish wedding can be a rocking party.

And that’s really it… Now go off an write your authentic Jewish wedding in your manuscript.  Feel free to ask me any questions.

A Jewish Wedding 2

My apologies for the delay in posting part 2. I had a moment of letting my guard down, clicked on a bad link in my email and lost my computer. Thank goodness for my iPad, but it’s really hard to type a lot on it. My computer is back, and I’m back posting!

So…I left you last at the bride walking up the aisle to the Chuppah.  Oh- and a note about the Chuppah, it is usually 4 poles attached to fabric, symbolizing the new home the couple will make together. It’s open on all sides to signify the couple will grow and will welcome visitors and the community. Traditionally the groom’s tallis (prayer shawl)  is used as the fabric. We used my husband’s tallis, but since his was white and burgundy, my mother the consumate artist was unhappy with the color clash. So she had it sewn into an all white fabric. Only the people under the chuppah could see his tallis.

Okay, back to the actual ceremony…The bride gets up to her groom, and does she stand still? No, she does not. She will walk in a circle 7 times around the groom, often reciting prayers, or often just counting to 7. I was a counter. There’s a variety of explanations for the circling, one of which is that it establishes the couple as a single unit within the community.

Then the ceremony is turned over to the Rabbi or any learned Jewish person who is authorized by the state to administer a wedding. We had not one but four ordained rabbis at my wedding.  Only 1 lead the ceremony. He said some prayers, he made a nice speech about us, and then he turned it over to my husband’s best friend, a wonderful musician who sang the Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings. These are the traditional prayers sung over the bride and groom. For a translation, look here: http://www.cantorli-paz.com/shevaBrachot.pdf 

The groom is asked to repeat one traditional sentence: I am consecrated unto you according to the laws of Moses and Israel. Then he places the ring on the bride’s right index finger. The bride says nothing. If she chooses, and most modern brides do, she can repeat what the groom said, or she can pick something else to say. I chose a passage from Song of Songs: My beloved is Mine, and I am his. Of course, I messed it up totally and ended up saying something like “I love myself and myself alone” My Rabbi shrugged and said “Close enough” LOL

After the blessings, the bride is given her Ketubah, her marriage contract, the promises the groom makes to her. I am often blown away that Judaism is one of the only religions who makes the groom have legal obligations to his bride. I could do a whole other blog post about the Ketubah, and perhaps will one day. Many couples turn theirs into works of art. (we did) and get creative with the words of the document (we didn’t). For a translation of the traditional text, check here: http://www.jewishcelebrations.com/Wedding/Orthodox/KetubahText.htm

And then comes the breaking of the glass- perhaps the most famous of the Jewish wedding traditions. A glass is wrapped in a napkin and placed by the groom’s foot, who smashes it. And the guests yell MAZAL TOV!! Many modern couple choose to convert the shards into something decorative for their home. (we did)

And the ceremony is complete…mostly. check back in Monday for the final bits…

A Jewish Wedding part 1

It’s that time of year again! Summer? Well, yes, but it’s also WEDDING SEASON. After  reading about Drew Barrymore’s wedding a few weeks ago, it occured to me that lots of you romance writers and readers might not know what a Jewish wedding looks like.

Because it’s different from the typical American wedding you see on TV.  Keep in mind of course that there is no such thing as one standard Jewish wedding just as there is no standard Christian wedding. I’ll talk about my ownn traditional wedding since I’m most familiar with it.

The biggest way a Jewish wedding differs is that there is no exchange of vows. Nor is a Rabbi necessary. In fact, the only things you need for a Jewish wedding are a bride, a groom (and even that’s shifting in this world of same-sex marriages), a gold ring worth at least a few dollars and a ketubah.

So,  Jewish wedding has two big acts. When guests arrive, and a Jewish wedding can be anywhere…beach, hotel, synagogue…. the men go to one room and the women go to another. The men gather around the groom telling ribald jokes and keeping his mind off his nerves. The women gather around the bride, who is often seated on a chair on a dais with her mother and future mother in law. Marital advice is given.

The men come dancing in to the women’s room with the groom toward the front. He will greet his bride. Ensure she is indeed the woman he intends to marry then place tthe veil over her face.  Remember your bible story where Jacob is tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel. This modern practice has origins in that story of viewing your bride unveiled before the ceremony.

Once the Bedeken- or veiling is complete, all the guests go to the main room or the main ceremony. Groomsmen and bridesmaids are optional, and most modern brides opt to have them. I did.  The groom will walk down the aisle accompanied by both parents. And both parents remain under the Chuppah ((wedding canopy) with him.

Then the bridesmaids come down followed by the bride accompanied by BOTH parents. Again the parents remain. This is one area where I think Judiaism does it well. A marriage is a coming together of two families so it makes sense to have everyone remain under the chuppah.  Next comes a really unusual part…which you’ll learn about tomorrow.

Write your RITA speech now!

Last summer I went to the RWA National conference, and during the Saturday night RITA/Golden Heart ceremony, I mentally composed what I would say if I were up on the stage. And now I want to encourage you: WRITE YOUR RITA SPEECH NOW.

Why?

Because it’s motivating. It assumes success. Don’t write your Golden Heart acceptance speech. Though GH is an amazing award, it’s a stepping stone. It means your book is not yet in the hands of readers. Go for the gold. Go for the Rita.

If you live as if you are a successful author, writing and selling the books of your heart, even if it’s not quite yet reality, it WILL happen. It has to. You already wrote your Rita speech. In my Rita speech I thanked my agent. At the time I didn’t have one. Now I do.

I thanked the Washington Romance Writers, the best, most supportive chapter in the country. This June I will become Secretary on the board of the chapter to help steer the chapter to continue its amazing mission.

I challenge you, in whatever career or goal you set for youself, assume success and it will surely come. Good luck! (Though you won’t need it. You already have your winning speech ready)

You say it’s your birthday…

My husband turns 40 today. He’s older than I am. By a lot. Okay, not by so many years, but give me a break.

He is NOT  a birthday celebrator. So despite this being a big number birthday, he wants me to ignore it. Too bad! I’m throwing a party! Cause I love parties. As a concession to his anti-social ways, I’m keeping it VERY casual and limited the guests to family only. Given the size of our family, w’ll have 20 people for dinner Friday night.

If it were up to him, he & I would be on a plane this week to somewhere cool like Japan or South Africa to celebrate his birthday. Sadly the budget didn’t have room for a birthday trip, so we’re sticking close to home. And I probably won’t even get him a present. He’s impossible to shop for. In the 20 years I’ve known him, I have yet to buy him a gift he actually used. Wait- I did manage to get one gift he liked.  One night he said he loved peanut butter more than anything. My then-8 year old asked if he “liked it so much, would he marry it,” the answer was yes. I bought him a cafeteria sized jar of crunchy peanut butter and we decorated the jar of PB in white tulle and faux pearls. Best. Gift. Ever.

What about your sweetie? Is he/she a birthday celebrator? Easy to buy gifts for?