Dear C,
You were taller than us and you wore a bra you actually needed. You were new and we’d been at camp for years already. Excuses, excuses. The bullies wrecked you. And I let them.
They called you names. They locked you out of the bunk. They peed on your pillow. And I watched.
I was relieved. If they picked on you, they’d leave me alone. And so I said nothing. Not to you, not to the bullies and not to the counselors. And I should’ve.
I understand now that silence is complicity.
I want to think you’re a grown up now and camp is a distant memory, but I know better. If the summer we bullied you is my dark spot on my otherwise happy camp experience, than I can only imagine its a barely healed wound that easily bleeds for you. I wish I could go back and tell the mean girls to stop, because now I understand they would have. They were just as scared, just as insecure as I was. We could’ve stopped it. And we didn’t. And I’m forever sorry.
Sincerely,
L
Mandy M. Roth
Yasmine Galenorn
Lauren Dane
Michelle M. Pillow
Kate Douglas
Shawntelle Madison
Leah Braemel
Aaron Crocco
NJ Walters
Jax Garren
Shelli Stevens
Melissa Schroeder
Jaycee Clark
Shawna Thomas
Ella Drake
E.J. Stevens
Ashley Shaw
Jeaniene Frost
Rachel Caine
Kate Rothwell
Jackie Morse Kessler
Jaye Wells
Kate Angell
Melissa Cutler
PT Michelle
Patrice Michelle
Julie Leto
Kaz Mahoney
Cynthia D’Alba
Jesse L. Cairns
TJ Michaels
Jess Haines
Phoebe Conn
Jessa Slade
Kate Davies
Lynne Silver
Taryn Blackthorne
Margaret Daley
Alyssa Day
Aaron Dries
Lisa Whitefern
Rhyannon Byrd
Carly Phillips
Leslie Kelly
Janelle Denison
Graylin Fox
Lee McKenzie
Barbara Winkes
Harmony Evans
Mary Eason
Ann Aguirre
Lucy Monroe
Nikki Duncan
Kerry Schafer
Ruth Frances Long
Very moving apology. Thank you for sharing it.
I agree with Mandy, that is a very moving apology.
This made me tear up. Did you feel some relief after writing this? I have to admit, there were times when I did nothing also. Really wish I had. xox
Thanks for stopping by everyone. I don’t honestly feel better. Writing the post didn’t make me feel that much better. My religion states that apologies need to be made to the person and since I don’t know C’s last name, I’ll never be able to actually apologize to her. This poor girl couldnt even go home at the end of the day. It was sleep-away camp.
Even if you never find her to say it in person, this was still a very thoughtful post. Thank you for sharing it.
<3,
-J
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